As far as healthy things go, these are as about as far away from good-for-you as you can get and not be fast food. White flour, bacon, cheese, butter, heavy cream…the only things missing are high fructose corn syrup and millions spent on a hashtag heavy ad campaign. That’s probably why I made the mini version. This way, you can house two of them and pretend like you’re eating better than you actually are. Like miniature cupcakes or brownie bites…it’s all about perception.
Still, at least you’ll have enjoyed yourself while shuffling off this mortal coil at the ripe old age of 52 as you grip your chest and gasp for air. If kale smoothies and boiled salmon are the keys to long life, I’ll opt for the stuff that tastes good.*
*There’s actually a happy medium. It’s called moderation. Don’t eat like a stoned college student, go on the occasional walk, and you should be fine.
- 2 cups all purpose flour
- 1 tsp salt
- 1 tbsp baking powder
- 2 tsp sugar
- 4 tbsp (1/2 stick) cold butter, chopped
- 1 cup very coarsely grated or diced cheddar cheese
- 1/3 cup finely diced chives (preferably fresh)
- 1 cup thick cut bacon bacon, cooked, cooled, and crumbled (about 8 slices)
- 1 cup heavy cream
- In large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and sugar.
- Using your hands, incorporate the butter into the flour mixture. Doesn’t need to be perfect. In fact, a few chunks o’ butter are desirable.
- Add the cheese, bacon, and chives and mix until evenly combined.
- Add the cream and mix until dough comes together. It helps if you start with a spoon and then move on to using your hands.
- Divide dough into two separate balls, cover in plastic, flatten and shape into 5″ disks about half an inch thick. Refrigerate for 20 – 30 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
- Line baking sheet with parchment paper.
- Place disks on lined backing sheet and cut each into 8 segments (like a pizza).
- Bake for 20 – 22 minutes until edges begin to brown.
- Remove from oven and let cool.