As a single man, naturally, I had a bunch of rotting bananas sitting on a shelf in my kitchen. If my mom has taught me one thing, it’s that women aren’t into guys in their mid 30s who still live at home. If she’s taught me two things, it’s that when life gives you rotten bananas, you make banana bread.
She didn’t teach me how to make it, mind you. She’s a terrible cook. Like, comically bad. (Editor’s Note: She’s your mother. Have some respect.) She recently made meatloaf and forgot to remove the absorbent pad from the packaging. (Editor’s Note: Point taken.) Maybe she thought I needed more fiber in my diet. Who knows?
Anyway, I turned to good ol’ Martha Stewart for this particular recipe, changing a couple of ingredients. So…it’s mine now, Martha. Focus on your salad.
- 3 cups flour
- 1 tsp baking soda
- 3/4 tsp salt
- 3 large eggs
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 1/3 cups vegetable oil
- 2 tbsp vanilla extract
- 1 1/2 cups ripe—some might say “rotting”—mashed bananas (about 3 medium)
- 1 cup unsweetened, flaked coconut
- 1 cup cup mini chocolate chips
- 1/2 cup non-fat yogurt
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees (that’s Farenheit…this is Amurica) and spray two 9″ x 5″ loaf pans with some good ol’ cooking spray.
- In a medium mixing bowl (use a large one, I don’t care) whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
- Using a stand mixer set on medium*, combine eggs, sugar, and oil.
- Add flour mixture until thoroughly combined.
- Slowly add in the vanilla, coconut, chocolate chips, and yogurt. Mix until just combined. Make sure you scrape the sides of the bowl.
- Divide batter between loaf pans.
- Bake for 60 – 65 minutes, rotating once. They’ll be done when they’re done. You can try inserting a toothpick and checking to see if it comes out cleanly, but be honest, that never works.
- Wrap up one loaf in plastic and give it to your neighbor as a way of saying thanks for shoveling your driveway.
- Wrap up the other loaf and bring it to work. Otherwise, you’re going to eat all of it while marathoning “House of Cards.”
*Medium speed is important. Otherwise, when you add the flour it creates a cloud and you end up looking like you’ve been working in a cocaine processing room.